Martial Arts

is this what will make me quit?

Maybe this is it. I’ve only ever looked at my next belt, and tried not to worry about how far I’d eventually go with this, but how I feel right now? This could be what drives me to quit taekwondo.

It is so freaking embarrassing.

I got sick in the sparring seminar. Just like my belt tests. Just like my kickboxing classes. Why????

I’ve been going to kickboxing classes in the morning, trying to get over this nausea in morning workouts. I’ve modified how I eat and when I eat and just decided to skip breakfast all together so the vomiting is less. But the nausea and loss of vision and almost passing out stays the same.

Geez. Have I mentioned how embarrassing it is?

One of the Ninjas informed me it was all about conditioning.

I’m unconvinced that it’s the sole cause. I’ve been doing taekwondo for over a year, I’ve done the Figure 8 program, I’ve done extra workouts, now I’m doing extra kickboxing classes where I work out pretty hard and have the email reports from my heart rate monitor to prove it. Why was a morning 90 minute class so different?

I don’t know. I just don’t know.

WHY is the morning nausea not getting better? WHY WHY WHY???? Is it my Histamine Intolerance, sneaking in to ruin another party?

I wanted to go learn more about sparring, and instead I learned a little about sparring then spent 15 minutes trying not to pass out.

If I’m willing to put in the time, why is my body–my stomach–not cooperating???

Just so disappointed, and mad, at myself and the situation.

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November 21, 2019

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